Ken vs. the City

TV-B-Gone Universal TV Power Remote Control Keychain

Here’s a useful social tool; just don’t use it during “the game”. You might get pummelled.

I don’t know how many times I’ve sat down to do something on the computer; check my email, search for job postings; only to look up and find that it’s two hours later. It seems like I can do ten normal non-computer things in an afternoon, but only a few things when I sit down in front of a computer. They say time flies when you’re having fun, but losing precious time is anything but. I really don’t believe the computer is some sort of black hole, so dense time itself gets sucked into it. I think it’s how time is organized.

The Problem
My time off the computer is divided up like any normal day, into tasks and obligations, most of which take up a short ammount of time each. I can go about my daily business dispensing my time throughout the day to various tasks at my leasure. Since everything is bite-sized and easily understandable, I can afford to take time off and look at the big picture.

On the other hand, my time on the computer is condensed. Since my mind views “on the computer” as a single task, I have a million things to in that one task: writing, updating the blog, playing a game, cleaning out spyware, searching for the latest and greatest free software, online banking, uploading photos, and organizing my music; just to name a few.

Add to that the huge huge resource of the internet, and I have other tasks popping up as well: new bits of news, the new Strongbad Email, new job listings, forums. It’s like wandering aimlessly and I have a hard time refraining from cataloging the entire internet in a single sitting, just to make sense of it all.

The Solutions
The best way, I can figure, is to organize both my thoughts and my actions around the idea that “on the computer” is not a single task. I should focus on writing, updating software, or checking email as a single task that the computer is just a medium for.

The “off” button can be my friend. And if “off” is too drastic, there’s always “stand by” and “hybernate.” My friend the computer can be back in business at a moment’s notice to take care of another little task.

Another, practical thing I can do is edit my software library. Do I really need the Gimp and Photoshop? Am I really going to play Halflife and Doom III at the same time? Do I actually need Spider Solitaire or Minesweeper on my computer at all?

On the internet, I should be willing to ignore things. If I’m looking for financial information, I need to be willing to ignore that notice about the new Winamp update. I can update it later when I have free time.

And if I really want to go drastic, I can put Mr. Computer away and take a break from him. I could leave him alone in the corner for a day, a week, even a whole month.

Even if you’ve put your computer away, there are ways to keep up on your email. Internet cafes are the most expensive, but when you’re paying for time you tend to use less of it. Public libraries are free, but they usually kick you off after a half hour or so, so you tend to work faster. And you could always use your friend’s computer. He might give you more time, but he might get annoyed and kick you off anyway. Either way he can keep you accountable.

It’s amazing how much time you can gain by a simple change in thinking and a little bit of self-editing. Manage your time like a rally car; go lean and mean.

Today I was coming back from an interview, turned a corner and found myself in Koreatown, or K-town as they call it in NY. There was a big building in front of me with Korean writing on it. I stepped off the curb and immediately found myself surrounded by asian airline pilots and flight attendants. I said to myself, “What in the world is this, New York? These people aren’t Chinese.” Then I realzed the building was some sort of office for Korean Airlines and all these people had just gotten off a bus. It’s much smaller than Chinatown, and has all kinds of cool-but-different stuff.

I saw this one Korean barbecue place I’ll have to check out later. It was a little expensive, but mmmm, bulgogi.

St. Patrick’s Day has come and gone and, despite their proliferation here in Manhattan, I have yet to visit an honest-to-goodness Irish pub. I put on a green shirt and went out on Thursday evening (St. Patty’s Day); fully intending to partake in the celebration of St. Patrick, the second Bishop of Ireland.

I’ve seen Irish pubs around; they’re all over the place. But I hadn’t had a reason to visit one until Thursday. I came across one, not too far away, that looked promising. Then I realized I was by myself. Who goes to a pub by themselves? I looked in the window and saw a normal number of people talking and laughing with their friends. Then I thought, “All my New York friends are doing something else.” I left.

I’m a little disappointed with St. Patricks Day here in New York. Maybe I expected to see Irish folk in the pubs all singing together. Maybe I expected to join them, raise a glass, and toast old Patty. There was a parade, but that was on 5th Avenue in the afternoon and I missed it.

Maybe when I know more people I’ll pretend to be Irish next year.

I went out last night to that place I said was an “Irish Pub.” Turns out I was mistaken. It’s actually a Scottish Bar. Excuuuuse me for confusing Scottish with Irish. Kilts, funny accents, beer– they all look similar to a guy like me.

They say it’s the only Scottish bar in the city. There are so many Irish places I just got a little confused. I had the Bangers and Mash. Very good, but a little on the expensive side. I’ll go to an Irish place on St. Patty’s day and tell you how it is.

Yesterday it was such a nice day out that I went for a long walk through Chinatown I stopped at the Chinatown Ice Cream Factory on Bayard street where they have all kinds of wierd chinese flavors like ginger, lychee, and green tea.

I got myself an ice cream cone and walked across a crowded Canal Street to Little Italy where all the parking meters have the italian flag painted on them. I stopped to read the menu out front of the many italian restaurants. A guy brushed past me speaking italian into a cell phone and looking like one of the guys from the Godfather. Then I checked out a souvenir store where they sell blakc and white photos of every music and old movie star you can think of, mostly Italian.

Then I left Italy and I walked down the Bowery. I stopped when I heard a guy crying out “Bling-Bling. Bling-Bling.” He was handing out flyers in front of a jewlery store called Homeboy Amigo. Inside there was a booth that made custom gold crowns for your teeth. The diamond ones looked like braces on steroids.

Never take me to that dentist. New York can be like a million alternate universes rolled into one. Some have good ice cream, some have bad teeth. I’m still trying to find where I fit in. Luckily God will have something to say about it and I don’t have to figure out the whole thing by myself.

I took a walk this morning on the Brooklyn Bridge like I do occasionally. It’s snowing again, but it’s getting warmer. The New Yorkers will still say it’s really cold. Manhattan really should be called the land of 1000 bridges. There are so many of them, and each one comes from a completely different architectural era. The Brooklyn Bridge if my favorite though. You can’t go wrong with good old fashioned stone and steel.

My computer caught a virus and has been out of commission since Wednesday. Once I get the tools I need to fix it I can see how much work I’ve lost. I have two short stories and a re-write of my screenplay on there that I hadn’t backed up yet. Hopefully I can get it all back. If not, no worries. There’s plenty more where that came from. Either way, God’s given me a break from the computer for the rest of the week.

Yesterday I saw Anne Lamott at the Barnes and Noble. She was totally not what I expected. She was very liberal, very politically active, and the things she read to us sounded very sad and full of grief. She seems to believe that Love is all about deliverance from pain.

I adamantly disagree. As anyone who’s reached puberty knows, love brings as much pain and suffering as joy and happiness. True, if someone wants to hurt you they will bring you pain, but if someone loves you they will risk bringing you pain in order to make you better and heal you.

Last night I was coming home on the A train when I saw a guy that looked almost exactly like the Booze Man, except he was sober, clean and had the use of both his eyes. In fact if it weren’t for those three distinguishing characteristics I would’ve thought he was the same man. He even looked at me as if he recognized me. But eventually we just ignored each other just like everyone else on the subway does.

There were some drinkers on the subway, and there were people coming back from the clubs and acting bigger than they actually are, trying to impress the ladies. (of course you see them everywhere, even in Wisconsin) You wait longer for the trains late at night, and some of the express trains run on the local track giving you plenty of time to observe the more nocturnal side of humanity. They don’t run as many trains so even though there are fewer people riding the subway, the ride can be quite crowded.

It makes me think of how many times I have been just like those guys, if not outright at least in my heart, putting on airs and trying to make myself look bigger than I really am. I know it’s good to wisely navigate the social wilderness, but a lie’s a lie. Just when I think I’ve got society figured out, and I think I’m humble enough to be myself, I find people are different than I thought and either the mask goes back on again or I find it was never removed in the first place.

I guess that’s the thing about following God. He shows you your bad parts in order to correct them. The light makes things clear, unlike the darkness which will only show you your good parts and pursuade you that everything’s okay and you don’t need to change.

I was digging through some thrift shops looking for my little unemployed person’s version of Donald Trump’s “great deal” when I came across a copy of White Crosses by Larry Watson. Not only has he published several good books, but he also taught yours truly when he was a professor at the University of Wisconsin, Stevens Point. He’s a nice guy, good teacher, and a good author.

I’ve also learned that Barnes and Noble has author readings and book signings all the time. Tomorrow I’m going to see Orson Scott Card, author of Ender’s Game. You can read the first three chapters of his new book, Shadow of the Giant, online and I can say this one looks like a good one.

On March 10th I might go see Anne Lamott, author of Bird by Bird, which I absolutely love. I’m still up in the air about this one though ’cause I think she’s kinda wierd and I find her fiction a little dry.

But I absolutely have to go see Moby on the 22nd because hey, it’s Moby. His music was popular for a few years, but it’s also in like every other television commercial whether you knew it or not. He’s promoting his cafe teany, which is on 90 Rivington St. I’m sure there’s a book involved here somewhere.

iPods are taking over New York. Everyone has one, not just rich hippies. Everyone’s bobbing their head and has white earbuds stuck in their ears. And why not? iPods are fashionable, trendy and in spite of stories of poor battery life, Apple has a huge percentage of the portable digital audio player market. The white wires and the white iPod means white is the new black I guess.

I began to succumb to that “everybody else’s got one” mentality and decided to look at getting one for myself. iPods are expensive, but the idea of stuffing Johnny Cash, Starflyer 59, the Ramones, Ozzy Osbourne, Joy Electric, George Gershwin, Percy Grainger, the Beatles, CCR, Neil Diamond, Doc Watson, The Echoing Green, the Stones, Tom Petty, Radiohead, Arlo Guthrie, Frank Sinatra, Robert Johnson and all the rest of them into a little white box the size of a deck of cards is just plain hilarious.

Apple released their new iPod shuffle a little while ago to grab those few percentage points like me that are still holding out. 99 bucks for 512 megabytes isn’t that bad. And it’s a slick design too. The only other 512mb $99 player is the SanDisk one. I’m not too thrilled with that design. I’m still up in the air about getting one. Not having a job, that’s 99 bucks I can’t spend on ice cream if I do.

Some of the new friends I’ve met here in the city are total Mac fanatics. I’m happy to say I’m not one. But if Apple called the iPod Shuffle the “iPod Granny Smith.” I’d probably buy it just because of the name.