Ken vs. the City

I suffer from something called Do-Everything-At-Once Syndrome. It’s a psychological condition that leads to Micromanagementitis and Equivocator’s Disease. I find myself attempting to do many things like write, watch TV, make dinner, do my taxes, and read a book all at the same time. This causes psychological tention and instead of doing one thing well, I do a number of things poorly.

Micromanagementitis is a control disease. To gain a sense of control, the sufferer needs to deal with every single detail at once. It causes paranoia about little mistakes and despair because those little mistakes keep appearing. A micromanager has to have their hands in every cookie jar and make sure everything is going their way.

A sufferer of Equivocator’s Disease can’t make decisions quickly. Their mind is consumed by so many things at once that their mind looses focus and can’t decide on a course of action. They want to take every single variable into account in order to make the outcome perfect. They question their own decisions, and suffer from inaction.

It’s a psychological fact that the human mind can only focus on one thing at a time. You can only focus on particular task requiring a focused mind at a time. Certainly anyone can walk and chew gum at the same time, and anyone can learn to pat their head and rub their stomach at the same time. You can even learn to fight without thinking and (unfortunately) there are people who drive without thinking. These are physical actions that, once learned, can be taken over by your muscles.

Any actions that requires consistent cognition, like reading, writing, math, art, or negotiation, can only be handled one at a time. Even physical actions like dribbling a basketball require the mind’s concentration until the muscles learn the action and can take over for the mind. But the muscles can only handle repetitive physical actions.

The only treatment for Do-Everything-At-Once Syndrome is to relax, loosen up, and take things one at a time. It’s diffcult to do because it means giving up control. And a desire for control is always a product of pride, one of the most diffcult human attributes to identify and weed out. You let go of Micromanagementitis by giving up control to other people. Trust them and they will trust you and work for you. You let go of Equivocator’s Disease by giving up control to God. He loves you and has your back. Even if something catastrophic happens, you can die knowing everything is okay with your soul. Christ didn’t die for nothing.

Spring is here and some of the little critters are getting those funny feelings again. There are all kinds of critters here in New York. Take the pigeon, for instance.

A male pigeon will puff up his feathers and try to look bigger than he really is. Then he’ll walk around chasing after a female pigeon who, seeing the male pigeon is obviously an idiot, will walk in the other direction. Then the male pigeon will sometimes flap his wings or put on some kind of show to get attention from her, which makes him look even sillier. It’s kind of like some people I know.

If you know anyone like that, post a comment and tell us about it.

My grandmother always tells me to wash my hands after riding the subway. The New York subway system has a reputation for dirty cars and subway stops, but any 100-year-old public institution is bound to pick up a little bit of dirt.

Today’s New York Post listed the cleanliness ratings from The Straphanger’s Campaign, an advocate for subway and bus riders. The N, A, and D lines are rated the cleanest with the 1/9 line as the dirtiest.

The Post also wants more dirt on the subway system. You can leave yours here.

I still remember my ride on the subway with the Booze Man. That was a wierd one. If you’ve had any wierd experiences on the subway, post a comment about it.

New Tork is a big city. Sometimes I get lost. Sometimes I’m going somewhere, I don’t know how long it will take, and I show up late.

No more wandering aimlessly for me. I’ve found HopStop.com, a snazzy site for finding directions to and from anywhere in New York City. I can just type in the address of point A and the address of point B, and hit the button.

The site tells me where to walk, when to turn and what subway or bus I need to take. It also gives me an estimated arrival time. It has an option for departure time so I believe it takes into account rush hour.

According to the site you can send directions to a cell phone or pda, plan an itinerary and find the nearest subway and bus stops. They also have maps and a city guide for those of us who don’t really have a destination in mind already.

It’s not officially summer yet, but it sure feels like it. I’ve begun writing outside a little, since the temperature is tolerable. There’s tons of people at the Seaport and a whole bunch of performers.

Yesterday I saw the juggler (who’s a regular here) match skills against a basketball spinner guy. The basketball guy spun a ball on his finger. Then he borrowed a sword from the juggler and spun a ball on the end of it. Then he one in each hand and brought each one in a loop under his arms. It was on.

Not to be outdone, the juggler did the same with two of his balls. Then the basketball guy spun one ball on one hand and spun another in his other hand. He placed one ball on top of the other and he had two balls going at once, balanced in one hand.

The juggler spun one of his balls and then put another smaller one on top of it without spinning it. The smaller ball was balanced on the spinning one where it picked up speed and began spinning too.

Then the basketball guy spun a ball on the tip of his nose. The juggler bounced one off of his head like a soccer player. The basketball guy put on a hat with a little peg, spun a ball on top of in, and then spun two more, one in each hand. He looped them both under his arms, keeping all three going.

Then the juggler took one of his balls and balanced it on his head without spinning it. He moved his head to either side, keeping the ball in the same place while his head moved under it. The basketball guy just said “I can’t do that.” and the friendly impromptu competition was over.

Wierd: Paranormal Investigations of NYC

It seems there really are Ghostbusters here. It’s good to know we’re protected from ancient Sumerian gods and giant marshmallow men.

Who am I?
The other day I asked myself that same question. I’m Ken Musante, a 20-something living in downtown Manhattan. I came to this great city to seek my fortune. I’m from Stevens Point, a medium-sized town in Central Wisconsin; home of Point Beer and UWSP, my alma mater.

Hold out your left hand palm up. Say it’s a map of Wisconsin. Then point to the spot right in the middle. That’s Stevens Point. Madison is straight south in the meaty part of your hand, and Green Bay, home of the Packers, is up by your pinky finger.

Why New York?
In my opinion it’s the biggest and baddest city on the planet. There’s always something going on. For me it’s a symbol of America. There’s success and failure here. Everything moves so fast, if you take the time to say “New York minute,” time passed you by two minutes ago. You have to fight for the American dream, or it’s not worth getting.

I’m not a fighter or a fast mover. I’m not a big success or a big failure. That’s why I’ve come here. God doesn’t want lazy bones; he will make me better, faster, stronger. What better forge than the fires of New York City?

What do I do?
I’m a writer. I write fiction as well as articles and this blog.

I’m amazed at the number of people wearing huge sunglasses these days. Every day I see more and more of them. It’s like an invasion of the early 80’s.

I’m not talking about the half-tinted glittery Paris Hilton sunglasses, though there are plenty of those floating around out there (more as the weather gets warmer). I’m talking about the big honking Chuck Yeager aviators. Come to think of it, I’ve seen a few leather bomber jackets too.

They say that if you keep your old out-of-style stuff long enough, they come back in style again. Or, what goes around comes around. We’re at that point in time when 80’s stuff like Hulkamania, Three’s Company, Mr. T, and big sunglasses becomes cool again. Too bad I was never old enough to appreciate the 80’s. Now that they’re coming ’round again I can breathe easier and enjoy the decade I missed. Maybe I’ll buy a pair of jams.

Hey, if the 80’s is coming ’round again, that means the 90’s will too. Then I’ll have to get a pair of iddy-biddy Matrix Raybans. And maybe a two-button power suit. I’m just glad I’m not a woman, because then I’d have to wear one with shoulder pads.

It’s interesting that not everything comes back around. Unless you count silly Kiss tribute bands, classic rock is gone. Sure it’s popular again, but no one makes it anymore. And while mullets and afros are coming back, the MC Hammer flat top seems to have evaporated. (although we haven’t reached the 90’s again, so it could come back)

I guess my conclusion is that only some of the things that go around come around. Popularity and fads always change. That’s why everybody loves a classic.

I’m not a sports guy. In fact I was never even much of a Packer fan until I left Wisconsin. But here in New York there comes a time when you have to decide which team is your team: Yankees or Mets. So being an analytical, non-sports type of person, I’ve set up this short list:

My dad has a philosophy about which team to root for: always root for the underdog. That might not make a whole lot of sense because everybody wants their team to win, but after watching the Mets take on the Braves yesterday and winning I think I understand. Everybody wants their team to win, but it’s more fun if they have to work for it. It’s no fun watching a huge kid pound on a scrawny little kid, but it’s a real head turner to see a scrawny kid pound on the huge kid.

So what’s my team? The Mets right now, but I still respect the Yankees. You gotta respect the huge kid. That’s my decision, spoken by a true non-competitive, non-sports person.

If you’ve ever entered your own name into an internet search engine llike google, you’ve probably come up with all sorts of crazy things.

Stevens Point Journal - UW-SP looks at drinking trends

It looks as if I was quoted in my hometown newspaper back in 2002 in an article on on-campus drinking. Ha! Imagine me an expert on booze. I have maybe one drink a month. I don’t remember being interviewed, but it definitely sounds like something I would’ve said.