Ken vs. the City

The great economic powerhouse called China has awakened and it’s industrial might is evident not only here in New York, but in every small town in America. If your town has a Chinese restaurant, then no doubt you have been on the receiving end of a pair of disposable bamboo chopsticks.

Whether it’s a Chinese Chinese restaurant, or an American Chinese restaurant like the all-you-can-eat Hong Kong Buffet, I have noticed that all over the country they all use the same gramatically incorrect disposable bambo chopsticks:

Welcome to Chinese Restaurant.
Please try your Nice Chinese Food With Chopsticks
the traditional and typical of Chinese glonous history
and cultural

Tuk under thurnb
and held firmly

Add second chcostick
hold it as you hold
a pencil

Hold tirst chopstick
in originai position
move the second
one up and down
Now you can pick
up anything:

PRODUCTOF
CHINA

China has effectively cornered the disposable bamboo chopstick market quietly, without anyone noticing. Every Chinese restaurant from New York to Wisconsin, and probably everywhere else in the world, uses the exact same product.

So the next time you go to a Chinese restaurant, remember the economic juggernaut behind your meal. All the analysts say China will be the next big economic power in the world. I remember in the 80’s when they were taking over the plastic GI Joe action figure manufacuring industry. When I was a kid I pictured poor Chinese factory workers assembling the little fighting guys — a real American Hero — to sell to us in the suburbs.

But if the stealthy way they’ve taken over the global chopstick market is any indication, they’ve probably taken over the world already. And you didn’t even know it.

I have it. Some make fun of it. Most people from Wisconsin don’t realize they have it. I’m noticing more and more that I have a Wisconsin accent. It’s not prominent, but every now and again I catch myself saying “aböut” instead of “about.”

It’s amazing how much you notice about yourself when you’re not living at home any more. Every thing is different. The people are different, the businesses are different, the attitude is different. You begin to notice quirks about yourself that have been developing over years and years. And when you suddenly find yourself in a different place, the differences between you and the people around you immediately stand out.

I’ve never thought of myself as a typical Wisconsinite, but there are things about the way I think, the way I talk and the way I view the world that could only have come from Wisconsin. Dialect aside, I’ve noticed that I’m much more layed back about things than others around here. I’m also more tolerant of pushy and emotionally upset people. I generally have a positive view about the government and authority. I dig cheese. And for some strange reason, even though I’m not a football fan (except for Madden Football) I immediately pay close attention to anything that has to do with “Favre” or “The Packers.”

Being different in New York is not all biscuits and gravy though. Because I’m more layed back that also means I’m not pushy. If you don’t know when to push in New York and when to hold back, you’re not going to go anywhere fast. That’s the kind of New York wisdom they rarely teach you in Wisconsin.

Still, I’m learning to grab that Wall Street Bull by the horns. And when I return to visit Wisconsin, hopefully a part of New York will have rubbed off on me. I don’t know if a baseball/basketball place like New York is quite compatable with a football/NASCAR place like Wisconsin, but like it or not, cultures teach. And I’m not afraid to learn a few new tricks from New York.

In the movie Fight Club they called it “corporate art.” My description of it wouldn’t be so cynical, but there are some head-scratchers out there. Generally, corporate art is sponsored by a large company to beautify their buildings. It usually expresses some aspect of business and optimism. Here are some examples of corporate art around where I’m living:

Some sort of number wall. I think it’s some kind of clock because the lighted number changes. I took this picture at about noon. I have no idea what the 5 means.

A big square with a shiny off-set disk. If you look at it from the right angle it looks like an open vault. Plus the reflection back through the hole makes it look like a series of circular rings.

The Sphere used to be corporate art, displayed at the World Trade Center until 9/11. It survived the disaster and is now on display in Battery Park. Since it’s in a park now, I’d consider it public art.

I don’t know what it is. It’s some kind of spiraly silver tower.

The famous bronze bull statue welcoming you to the financial district. A “bull market” is when market prices are going steadily up.

A red cube with a hole through it. I don’t get it either, but it means something to someone.

A paper looking tree-mushroom statue thing outside the Chase bank building.

Wielded metal sculpture I found in a small plaza. I’m not sure if it’s corporate art or public art.

This morning, Donald Trump unveiled his design for the World Trade Center site, the Twin Towers rebuilt. I was actually impressed. I didn’t think the Freedom Tower looked all that bad. I actually liked the thing, even though it was shaped kind of wierd, but after seeing Trump’s model on the news and being reminded of what the WTC towers looked like, it gave me a sense of pre-9/11 nostalgia.

Honestly, I don’t think the twin 70’s-style megaliths are all that pretty, but they’re big, and they’re New York. While I’ll be happy with whatever they decide to build on the site, I think the idea of a rebuilt Twin Towers would be really darn cool. Two identical towers built with 2005 technology, each one story taller that the originals, is very audacious, and very American.

In spite of my disaproval of Trump’s morals, his business philosophy, and his taste in architecture, I like the guy. He seems to have that bold American spirit (or maybe he just has lots of money and thinks too much of himself). His plan for the WTC site probably won’t go anywhere, but you never know. Still, anything is better than a big hole in the ground.

This afternoon I got a hair cut for $4.00 in chinatown. The place is called the Canton Barber Shop and it’s on Bayard Street. It has a shiny pink spinning barber pole outside. With a shampoo, it’s $7.00. Woman’s haircuts are a little more expensive, but way cheaper than anything you’ll find in the rest of the country.

The guy who cut my hair didn’t speak a word of English, but he did understand the words “short” and “okay.” The place is a little old-fashioned-y and I saw a few leather strops, so they probably give shaves as well. In the back room it looks like they have a place for old people to smoke and play mahjongg. If you want a little bit of adventure and a cheap hair cut, this is definitely the place. Just don’t be cheap cheap and forget to tip the guy. At $4.00, you can afford to tip well and still get a cheap haircut.

Oh boy, I should carry my camera around with me more often. Yesterday as I was leaving the subway I saw a Michael Jackson impersonator dancing and lip-syncing to Billy Jean. He had everything: the white hat, the shoes, the white socks. He did the best moonwalk I’ve seen since the 80’s. He looked just like a black Michael, except he was really, really short. After he was done a very robust woman ran up to him and gave him a hug.

I’m not a Michael Jackson fanatic. In fact I think that guy is wierd. Not just wierd wierd, but melt-your-face-off, wear-goofy-clothes, and think-that-screaming-fans-who-say-they-love-you-actually-do kind of wierd. Don’t get me wrong. Michael Jackson is an awesome dancer and a decent pop song writer (and the impersonator was good too), but the story of his life just seems really tragic. He seems to be trying to live out the values the media broadcasts to us every day, and it has drawn him so far out of touch with reality that he’s in the predicament he’s in now.

Someday someone will make a made-for-tv movie about Michael, and it will boost ratings for a few days. Poor guy. But Billy Jean is a neat song; it’s got a driving beat, a catchy hook, and you can dance to it. And even though it’s the new millenium, the moonwalk still looks cool. I guess no matter how “popular” you are though, the celebrity world view will kill you.

Ahhh, spring is finally here, just in time for summer. The sun has finally decided to come out and warm the earth with its electromagnetic rays. The sky is bright, there are sailing ships and pleasure boats in the river, and I can finally feel comfortable about doing some of my writing out-of-doors.

To celebrate Sunday I stayed up late and refused to go to bed untill I finished the story I was working on. And lo, I am the proud owner of a new bouncing short story. Now all I have to do is sell it.

I made a comment to one of my friends that I wanted to write a story a day. I guess I was just so excited when I wrote the last few lines and went to sleep, that I got a little over-ambitious. She looked at me in horror and convinced me to calm down a little bit. I admit, a short story a day is a lot of work, and I’ve never tried to push the creative bug to the limit, but surely I can speed things up a little bit. This is the first real story I’ve completed in almost 25 years. Sure, I was busy watching G.I. Joe and learning about girls for most of that time, but I still think I should’ve been a creative genius and started writing stuff when I was six. Oh, well. Hindsight is 20/20.

I’ve always wanted to be able to write on-command. For me, that’s the holy grail of writing. To be able to control your creativity is the key to controlling everything else. When you can control creativity, you can control both your mind and you emotions. For now though, I’ll just keep writing a little bit every day. That should be enough exercise to keep me from getting flabby.

In school they never tell you what a résumé is, how to write one, or even why you need one. But everybody does. I’ve given a lot of though to résumé s ever since I left college. Every employer wants to see one, everyone expects you to have one, but what the heck is a résumé any way?

A résumé, also called a CV, or Curriculum Vitae, is a short, short, short summary of who you are. It’s purpose is not to get you a job (gasp!), but to get you an interview. If an employer likes what they see, they’ll schedule an interview and meet you face-to-face.

Since I’m just a recent grad with little more than zero job experience, deciding just what to put in the résumé is a little overwhelming. Obviously I should put my education first, since I paid for it and I supposedly spent more time studying hard than playing video games. So that’s worth something.

My job history is all over the map, but a potential employer will understand, since I’m just out of school. As long as I put things in chronological order, don’t leave anything out, and don’t lie, I should be fine. I’ve found it helps to list things simply and avoid big Latin-based words. You need to keep you job descriptions professional-sounding. Don’t sell yourself short in that respect. Instead of writing “Sandwich Delivery Boy”, just write “Delivery Driver”. It just sounds more professional. And for goodness sake, don’t call yourself a “Consumables Distribution Engineer.”

I’ve had a couple of professional friends critique my résumé , and one piece of advice they gave me was to include every bit of experience you have, no matter how small, because you never know what might resonate personally with a particular employer. I agree. That’s a good idea, but you shouldn’t distract from the purpose of your résumé. That means you can’t just list everything. If something is a minor point, list it as something minor. Put it towards the end and don’t devote a lot of space to it.

I’m looking for a job in journalism. My writing and administrative experience is more towards the front of my résumé and is a little more detailed than some of the other things. I’ve also beta tested software and done some web design. Since those are minor points I just list them briefly and put them towards the end.

Employers usually have a whole in-box full of résumé s for any given job; your résumé needs to be short and relevant. List you job history, education, interests and skills so an employer can tell at a glance exactly who you are and what kind of job you can do. Don’t sell yourself short, make yourself sound good. A résumé is like an advertisement.

And the most important thing about crafting a résumé is to know what type of job you’re trying to get. That determines how you write the whole thing: relevant stuff first, less relevant stuff last, and get rid of the things which have nothing to do with anything.